Denise's Story, Con't.....|
I went to work and announced to my co-workers that I'd found my son. Everyone was surprised and shocked at what I had accomplished since Friday, but Kevin was the talk of the News-Review. Debbie, the gal in composition, (the one that helped me figure out Dave's name), started crying when I showed her the pictures of Kevin. She was just flabbergasted that I had found him so quickly after making the name discovery. I had so many women crying at work today as I relayed the events of our reunion. They were all so touched at what had happened at our reunion and how Ruth, Dave, Julie and Kevin had accepted and welcomed me. As my co-workers looked at the pictures, the comments from the female gender were all in agreement.....they think he is SO handsome. Some of them saw a resemblance to me, especially in the lower nose and mouth area. I looked at the pictures again and when I see at the two of us standing together, I begin to see what everyone else was seeing. I told them about our upcoming plans to get together again at the end of Sep. They were amazed!
In those first emails between Ruth and I, the majority of them took on a rather serious tone. We were able to release feelings and thoughts that only 'we' would understand with one another. Woman to woman, Mother to Mother. We discovered that we had very similar feelings on every major topic. We discovered a sameness about each other and felt that Kevin's placement with them had been a very wise and well thought-out move on the part of the caseworker. It turned out that the same caseworker, Nadine Danford who had counseled me every week in the 'home', had also counseled Ruth and Dave thru the adoption process. Through the grace of God, she made a perfect match!
Monday evening, the emails flew between Ruth and I. One wonderful letter detailed her feelings about the reunion from the day before.
Now, this will probably take me awhile to write, but I'd like to share my thoughts, with you, of what's happened.
Twenty-four years and eight months to the day (Feb. 7, 1972 - Sept. 7, 1996) Family Services called to ask if we would like to become parents at long last. I told you how they handled the placement. Dave and I had wanted a baby for so long and we were ecstatic. It had taken two long years of waiting. The first time I held Kevin was no different for me than the first time I held Eric and Julie. It was instant love and we adored him. But, at the same time, in the back of my mind, I felt tremendous sadness for his "birthmom" and what it had to be like for you to give him up. It never, ever occurred to me that you felt any other way. I felt like Dave and I had been given the Ultimate Gift of Love and Unselfishness. I've always wanted to meet you and thank you and I am so happy that I was at long last given that opportunity. To deny you would be like denying Kevin's very being.
The circle has been completed. No one can take away the bond we've made with Kevin for the last twenty-four years. I feel so happy for you that your bond with him can begin. You and Kevin and his "birth family" deserve that. I am very grateful that he is wanted and loved by all of you. His letter that he emailed to us last night says it all. In the end, this has been a very positive experience and we've ALL been blessed. As we know, it isn't always the case. Kevin David has always been very special and will continue to be. He now has more people who love him and we will all share in this "new beginning". Fondly, Ruth
I wrote back to Ruth later on that evening.......
Dear Ruth and Dave,
Your email to me this morning meant so much, and of course, I started crying all over again. It is almost impossible to put into words all of the feelings of gratefulness and admiration I have for the two of you. I couldn't have hand-picked two more loving and understanding parents than you guys.
The worry was so overwhelming sometimes, but I was incapable of changing anything. I had ALWAYS regretted my decision about giving up my son for adoption because I loved him so much. By the same token, that's exactly why I DID give him up, because I loved him so much. I always knew I would search for him and try to find him. It was merely a dream, tho'.
If I had known then, what I know now, I needn't have worried, at all. My prayers were answered when the two of you were united with Kevin. Every single one of my prayers were answered when I met the two of you yesterday. Every single one of my prayers were showered on my son by the two of you.
What you shared with me yesterday was more than just the reunion with Kevin, it was knowing that I am the most fortunate person in the world to have had the two of you become my son's parents. I wasn't "lucky", it was ordained to happen just the way it did, because God answered every single one of my prayers.
>From the deepest recesses of my heart, I will always be eternally grateful for all you have done in raising such a fine young man as Kevin is. You both are so very special to me. With Love, Denise
We shared many emails that day and then Ruth sent a very special letter from Julie. She wrote, "Are you ready for one more tear-jerker? Julie came downstairs tonight with this poem she had written Sunday night after we got home. It is beautiful! I just have to share it with you".
In between the 'serious' emails that continued non-stop for three days, Ruth and I discussed the upcoming Re-reunion between all the siblings set for 27 Sep 1996. Activities were decided upon... (cards or games, volleyball, walks in the woods...fishing?) food was discussed... (beverages, salads, soups, lasagna, and chocolate cake) and details were finalized. It was an event that all of us were looking forward to with great anticipation...
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This page was created 4 Jan 1998 and updated 5 Jan 1998
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